“I’ve never had a bad first date ever,” my best friend replies to me. Now either she is lying trying to make me out to be a complete fool, or she is completely being honest, and I really am a sad fool.
Either way…I went on to explain a few of my first date experiences. (In no particular order)
Meet for a couple drinks, Sushi, and then a walk downtown.
Sounds wonderful right? Well…
We met up for those couple of drinks. I had something like a Mojito. He had a beer. Okay next stop…The main event the big shazam, of the evening. This classy little joint downtown. Sushi bar, complete with Japanese Traditional or non-traditional seating. While walking to the street over, we run into my brother. “Hi brother, (Now go away please, ::::hint, hint::::) My date invites him in with us. Oh yay, a couple of Saki cocktails later, and a few rolls, he invites me outside to speak with him real quick. He’s just a little buzzed it will be okay. I realized he hadn’t exactly taken it easy on the drinks. He pushes me up against the wall (Only because he can’t hold his balance,) and attempts to kiss me, missing my lips. We walk back inside. What do I do, run? I have no idea what to do at this point, I hadn’t exactly made a plan b. (Sorry to interrupt, but always make a plan b!!!!!) The waiter comes to our table, to grab some empty plates. Next thing ya know, my date is making a bee-line to the back of the house. I happen to step in, he’s already yelling at the waiter. He’s upset, because of the price…maybe if he wouldn’t have had so many drinks…. “I’m so sorry,” I say to the poor server. He just shakes his head. Even though that is one of my favorite sushi joints, I don’t think I’ll be going back anytime soon.
No one likes me. Everyone hates me, guess I’ll go eat worms… I think a majority of us remember this song from Elementary School. Yes that’s right, grade school folks. There is a reason for this. That song needs to stay there. In the days of when we were young.
Look everyone has baggage. However, not everyone wants to hear about it. The term has become so popular that there is even a television show about it. What will make or break a relationship? Emotional junk, that you carry around with you.
Women, we have this urge to want to take care of/fix these “guys” who have the insecure puppy dog syndrome. Awe, because they are just soooo cute and we just wanna help the little guys. Guess what? You can’t help someone unless they want to be helped. I know, we think that maybe…just maybe…they might want to change for us. You know what? They don’t, or maybe they do, but more importantly they won’t. They have figured out that the more we pity them, the more they get by with stuff. So why on earth would they want to change? Would you?
More importantly, perhaps these guys know that you like them. So they will continue to draw attention to themselves, through their insecurities. That’s where the “player” mentality comes from. Completely stemmed from insecurities. They feel imasculated by the woman who is independent. Even though they say they want a girl who doesn’t depend on them, they do. Don’t treat them as an accessory though, treat them as someone that you do need sometimes, but not all the time.
With all this information about how to “act” around someone where do we draw the line from being accepting or motherly? When did we lose ourselves, and not start “acting” like someone else? Because we want to gain a companion? Fear, fear is our greatest enemy. Fear of rejection. If you accept yourself for who you are, then in turn the other person should too. If they don’t, well that is their loss. I say focus on yourself, be the person you want to be. Forget the players, and the insecure puppy dogs. Become the person you want to be. If someone finds you, and accepts you for that, and you in turn accept them for them flaws and all…without trying to change them. Well they might just be the person for you.
Questions? Comments? Different Point of View? Feel free to voice…
Of course it isn’t. Is it? Is the age old question of being intimate the first night still grounds for a no-go relationship? As our grandmother’s mother’s have said for all of time “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” Generations later…is that still applicable? Why is it so wrong for a single female to give into urges of that, that she likes you, and you are trying to talk her into? Well That’s exactly what what a friend of mine did last night. I’m going to portray it to you pretty much the way she described it. From her point of view.
Started out, just a date at his house. A typical “hang-out” spot where I live, is to gather you’re date and a couple of your friends over to your house. To sit on a couch, talk, listen to music, maybe drink a couple beers; nothing more, nothing less. That’s what happens when you live in a town, with the only sense of entertainment pretty much being a liquor store or bar on every corner.
So it started out like a typical “date-night” a little get to know me, get-together. Went to the LQ (as we call it,) got some beer and headed to the house. Big couch. Me on one end, him on the other. His friend on the love seat. Music, and some talk about getting a boat, for the lake. A not so subtle invitation extended to me. A quick smile and giggle on my behalf. Well, his friend/roommate, has to head off to bed to catch some zzz’s before the morning time where he works at 7 am. Leaving us alone and a wide open opportunity for us to really get to know each other.
It’s 10:30 pm. I have no vehicle, or money to catch a cab…I should know better. Always have a plan B! -an escape route, just in case. He had had one too many beers to drive (honestly even one is too much, unless you want to catch a DUI) right? Well at this point, I don’t really mind. I’m really enjoying the company. He’s super good looking, funny, and has my full attention. [I should also mention we are in our mid to late 20’s, him being a few years older than I.] Well I will give him a chance to sober up. He puts on a movie, makes the perfect move and I am cuddling in his arms. All the sudden he does the whole soft caress on the jaw, tilting my head to the perfect angle for an impeccable kiss. Damn! that was really amazing. I move my head back down to his chest, and try my hardest to become fixated on the movie.
Well of course, one thing leads to another, it turns into a full blown make-out sesh! We both agree to stop. We want to get to know one another after all. Ok 1 am now. Totally time to bring me home. There was a silent agreement for me to stay there. Well on second thought…ok I can sleep on the couch. No big deal. Somehow he talks me into the bed. Nothing will happen, he’ll keep his hands to himself, he promises. Yeah right, girls do not fall for this! I did…but don’t. hahahaha.
Make out session again…in the bedroom and yes of course leads to sex. Absolutely amazing sex! But, sex none the less! In the back of my mind thinking ohhhh how could I do this? I really like this guy. I really want to see if we could be in a possible relationship. I am doing this all wrong. He will never have respect for me. Thinking like a girl. Note to self: do not expect, ever. Stayed at his house, cuddled in his arms. Felt nice, but I’m thinking it’s instant gratification. Woke up the next morning. He was really nice. Offered me coffee, and took me to my house. When being dropped off got a sweet peck on the lips, and told to give him a call later.
The rest of the day…after the deed is done… Got some sleep since, I didn’t get any the night before. Did some household chores. Text him a quick, “Did you get any sleep?” got a quick response back “Been sleeping all day.” Called a few hours later, like he had asked. The conversation was short and sweet, how are you today? he asked, and told me he was going to get his boat tomorrow. Then a “Well I’m going to take a shower, can I call you back after that?” Me-“Yeah, of course, that’s fine.”……Well that was 4 hours ago. I hope he didn’t drown in the shower, but I’m not calling him back. Now I guess I will just discover what is to happen in time. But how much time? And, now I sort of wish I wouldn’t have slept with him. But then again as I said before, I’m sure I’m thinking like a girl.
Thoughts? (Females and Males Welcome to Reply)Comment below.
I am a life blogger (for the most part that is.) Sometimes my posts will be sad, sometimes they will be happy, sometimes they’ll be filled with almost nothing in particular but random ramblings. But I will always try my darndest to not make you waste your time reading something boring, which I would find amusing in of itself because my life always has something going on whether I like it or not. I encourage comments, especially if you can relate. Well this being my first post and all, I hope it was bearable =)